"How's Married Life?"

I have sounded like a broken record the past few weeks. Seeing old friends, meeting new ones, and catching up with family, the same question comes up: so how's married life?! I have asked that question so many times to my newlywed friends in quick conversations, but never expecting an honest or heartfelt answer. It's such a small-talk question. As someone who has been married for 4 months, I hate answering it. Am I wrong for that? Maybe. I appreciate the thought behind the question but I hate coming up with a quick conversation-satisfying answer.

My general responses to the how's married life question has been a combination of the following:

• great
• so awesome
• it's like being engaged except we live together and don't live with anyone else
• it's like having a sleepover with your best friend every day
• so fun

While all those things are very true, a more thorough answer might sound something like this:

After being married for 4 months, married life is everything I'd hoped it would be. It is joyful, exciting, and challenging (how do we merge our USAA accounts?!). The way I feel when I think about how this is actually reality and I am married to RG is like when you've had a really long day and you're sore and tired and then you get home and throw yourself onto the couch and take off your shoes and let out a big exhale and then you find out that you're having something really delicious for dinner... and it's already prepared so you don't have to cook! When that comfortable feeling of home can be found with a person- it's just great. Being married to RG is so comfortable, chill, and relaxed (keep in mind, med school hasn't started yet #calmbeforethestorm). I loved Ryan 3 years ago when we started dating and while we were engaged and I love him now that we share a name and a home. 

Thinking about what "married life" has been for us reminds me of this story that I've seen on FB and email forwards. There are a bunch of rocks in a jar and people say, "yeah, it's full." Then someone pours in a bunch of sand and everyone's like, "oh... guess it's full now, but it wasn't before." Then someone pours water in and everyone's like, "OH, okay now it's full."

That's how it is with RG and how our relationship has changed since getting married. Imagine that I have a love jar - I think I love him all I can, and then he does the dishes when I've had a long day. Then I think I really love him all I can, and he asks me how my day was and really listens to every detail, showing me that I was wrong and I can love him even more. It's fun to be wrong in this situation. So basically, married life is what it is because I've got a great partner. Married life is as good as the partner is, in my novice opinion.

I'll probably continue to answer the how's married life? question with "great!" and "awesome!" and my typical responses for the sake of time and small talk, but the past 4 months have taught me a lot about RG and about what our future might look like and I'm so excited to one day look back at this post after having gained years and years of marital wisdom and think about how young we were and how little we understood...and probably think that it was pretty funny that I thought my love jar was pretty full after 4 months.

Here's to another 4,000 months, RG. Married life is what it is because of your kind heart, respectful nature, and excellence with a crock pot. So glad that our fights are dumb and our rebound rate from frustration is top notch. XO